In the span of a week, we lost Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson and Billy Mays. Each had unique talents, became a pop culture icon, and enjoyed career longevity far beyond the norm of the media and entertainment industries. Interestingly enough, they’re connected through the legacy of some very memorable advertisements.
With nothing but respect, I pay tribute to the fallen four in the form of top ten life lessons to be gleaned from their commercials:
10. The worse your hairstyle, the better your chances of winning a sweepstakes. (Ed)
9. The louder you holler, the less likely your pants are to bust on you. (Billy)
8. Hiding toothpaste from your nubile daughter is the most effective form of contraception. (Farrah)
7. On a lazy Sunday afternoon, it’s a fantastic idea to hold a beer in one hand and a jungle cat in another. (Ed)
6. On a jaunty Saturday night, it’s not at all awkward to seduce a jungle cat. With luxurious vinyl. (Farrah)
5. When Carlton from “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air” is busting a move with his bow tie and bandana-clad posse, you’d best quit that game of Pac-Man and take notice. (Michael)
4. No matter how crappy your personal finances get, you’ll still be a million times less pathetic than M.C. Hammer. (Ed)
3. If you are the type of homeowner who has allowed your vile, germ-infested bathroom to resemble “The Hole” in Alcatraz, you will respond to a product that offers “a gentle, fresh scent.” (Billy)
2. To get your hands on an elderly, heart-weakened relative’s inheritance, demote the letters “f-o-r-t” to secondary status. (Wow. They really got away with this?) (Farrah)
1. To escape a mob of zombie fans at night, jump into a convertible and drive through a tunnel. It magically will be daylight on the other side, thus confusing the zombies. Being able to fly also helps. (Michael)
That’s a wrap. Rest well, friends.
strategicNovember 21, 2014
culturalNovember 18, 2014
creativeJune 28, 2014
economicSeptember 15, 2014
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