Some efforts are undoubtedly well-researched and compelling, inspired and informed by concern for weary mother earth. But lately I find a large chunk of what we’re producing in the way of marketing and content platforms as toxic as carbon emissions – driven by poorly thought out strategy, fueled by mass market hysteria and created by people trying above all else to turn green into gold. The tech bubble is so last century, this is the green bubble – get out of the way, it’s a full-fledged land grab (hint: the perpetrators don’t all wear natural fibers).

Not that you shouldn’t be able to make a buck. Not that financial incentive is a bad thing. Not that Wal-Mart won’t sell an enormous number of efficient light bulbs, and that’s a good thing. I was beating the drum for clean coal technology, benign kitchen cleaners and compact fluorescents in the 80’s for the alternative weekly the Phoenix. This isn’t about some weird Earth Day notion of purity, and I don’t have a problem with the cash.

My problem is that a lot of what’s being proposed, sold, marketed and distributed just doesn’t make any SENSE if you don’t work in ad sales or sponsorship.

I love Discovery’s Planet Earth series, but take, for example, the new announcement by the same company that they are launching a Green Channel – 24/7 Discovery PlanetGreen. Oh, I get that it can be sold. In fact, I can already see the commercials for hybrids, energy efficient appliances and the omnipresent BP. It was greenlit for the advertising dollars. But what does this channel MEAN beyond that?

Why would I/should I watch green programming vs. entertaining programming? (Or will they green edit programming - if they carry the Sopranos in syndication, will Carmela be using bamboo flooring in her houses and will Tony lumber down the driveway to take out the recycling instead of to get the paper?)

Is the target audience people who feel piously “green” – today, everyday, some days – looking for soulmates? Or aspirational greens – the ones who wish they had smaller carbon footprints but just don’t quite have the stamina or information (somehow, despite the internet) to pull it off without a little good programming to help them do it? Maybe it’s just meant for what WIRED calls the Ecosexuals. When I feel like slacking off, say leaving the porch light on all night or throwing the yogurt container away instead of rinsing it out – will I sink into a chair and, unbearably guilty, watch HBO instead? Is this going to be like working out and if they don’t get ratings are they going to BERATE us?

Sort your own trash (a good sort, says my local recycling station, depends on you) and lobby your own representatives for comprehensive change. If Discovery can create a more efficient office – then they should - it’s the right thing to do and they have the means to do it. But I don’t need to watch their worms make compost.

It may well be a passionate point of view, a way of living, a value system, a rallying cry, something worth protesting for, a legitimate concern for your children - but is “green” a vertical programming platform?

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