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At long last, I get it. After watching Max Blumenthal’s video, I finally understand. We must fight them over there, so we don’t fight them here. Wait, let me hear it one more time. Yes, that’s right. Fight them over there, so we don’t have to fight them here. Mr. Blumenthal disrupts the video with his silliness, but I get it now anyway.
Golly, what have I been thinking? It makes so much sense. Especially since it’s been so clear from the get go. And I’m really enamored with my new GOP friends. They just get it in a way that I never did.
Before today, I used to believe this type of republican took shortcuts to actual thought, connecting with simple, repetitive slogans and latching onto them in a profound way. I thought that was why they all have the same answer to every question and appeared to have given it very little thought past what they were told to believe. I used to envision a room full of republicans “applying directly to the forehead,” with no concern as to what that product actually does.
I used to believe any spin machine could come up with any one line talking point in order to sell a political platform. All they had to do was sell a slogan or an image. It worked great for products, so why not political ideas? That way, all these members of the GOP had to do was believe something to be true.
Believing is so much more fun than thinking, and it seems to be true that people don't like to think; they like to believe. They want to believe the make-up will make them look prettier, drinking beer will get them laid and fighting in Iraq really makes us safer. So, why not let them? Political discourse has been boiled down to bumper sticker slogans, and that makes it easier for me, which I’m thankful for. I mean, who needs logic when you have catchphrases?
I used to think the administration and the GOP had a cavalier attitude towards war and sending troops to Iraq. I used to even think it was similar to Michael Vick’s cavalier attitude towards dog fighting. And if you wanted to see the effects of Michael Vick’s cavalier attitude towards dog fighting and its implications, look no further than his backyard in Surry County, Va.. Then, if you wanted to see the effects of this administration’s cavalier attitude towards war and its implications, just drive up from Moonlight Road to Arlington National Cemetery. But now, I just think that’s ridiculous.
And I definitely used to think that it didn’t make sense to believe this war was crucial to our future and not enlist and serve. But now I get that too. I have a job…and I hopefully can become a really good, like, writer. I mean, did you see the level of concern on these young republican faces. The poor injuries they’ve suffered through. Knee problems from catching and yet, he still can make the meeting. That’s dedication to country. And our president suffers more than anyone over this war. It’s tough, tough stuff. Now, I get it.
The big turning point for me was hearing Tom Delay solve the immigration problem in one sentence. It’s so smart. So well thought out. Just brilliant through and through.
So, now when I read these articles about evolution and global warming, I don’t get worried any more. I’ve just been thinking too much. Even though evolution and climate change are issues not even debated within the scientific community and scientists have reached a scientific consensus on these issues, I still don’t have to bother my brain with it. Just give me a talking point.
That’s why I now appreciate the fact that the news must present “a balanced debate.” Many of my new GOP friends tell me that it’s just these climate scientists “looking for grant money,” which makes sense to me now. That’s all I need. Logic used to get in the way because I thought it didn’t seem right that the scientist looking for a $100K grant has more at stake than a global corporation that specializes in a product that is highly detrimental to the environment. But now it makes boatloads of sense because I don’t have to think about it.
It’s all crap and these scientists are just in it for their grant money. So, I say we open a full scale investigation on gravity. I mean, it is just a theory like evolution or climate change. And I’m skeptical. I really think we need to look into this. I’m surprised nobody before me has gone after these money grubbing scientist bastards.
Because, as of today, I finally get it. We have to fight them over there so we don’t fight them here. God, it feels so good to finally understand.
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- Brad from Canada.